December 27, 2009...Two!?!

The past few days have been amazing. Although the weather wasn't always on our side, we still mananged to fit in Christmas with all of our family. Tons of great food and lots of fun!

I am pretty sure we received the best Christmas present EVER this year. We went in for our first ultrasound on December 23rd and we found out that we are expecting TWINS!!!!  There are absolutely no words to describe the emotions we experienced when the ultrasound tech showed us the monitored and said "here is one baby...and the heartbeat. And here is the SECOND baby...and it's heartbeat."  We were both blown away!  How awesome it was to be able to see two heartbeats. Just like the news we received when we found out we were pregnant, I thought this too would take a little while to sink in.....but I was wrong!!  With the way I have been feeling the last couple of days, it's definately hit me like a ton of bricks. Christmas day was probably the turning point for me. Up until that point I felt pretty good. Only about a week of morning sickness, just in the morning, but other than that I really felt great. Now, I am finally feeling pregnant...really pregnant. Which, is exactly the way I've been praying to feel for the past three years, so I still don't feel like I can complain much. Although Cody might disagree with me on the complaining part! We are continuing with my daily progesterone shot...only 5 more weeks!! What a great day that will be when we can stop those horrible things. Our next ultrasound is scheduled for January 7th, just to make sure things continue to look good and at that point my doctor will probably turn us over to the regular OB. We have been blessed with such an amazing staff at the fertility clinic, it will be hard to leave them.

This December was filled with nothing but blessings for us. There are times where we start to panic a little about the future and how we will manage, but we have faith that the Lord will guide us through just as he always has.

December 17, 2009...yahooo!!!!

Well, we pulled out another victory today!! Cody's scans looked clear and everyting normal. His bloodwork still looked a little goofy this time showing too much iron in his blood. The dr.'s recommendation was to check his daily multi-vitamin and if there is extra iron in them he needs to stop taking them. So he will stop that and hope that helps for next time around. Same routine scheduled again for 6 months down the road. What an amazing month we have had!!! Thank-You from the bottom of our hearts for the love and support you have all shown.

December 15, 2009...a little more excitement

Ok, maybe I wouldn't go as far as calling it excitement. We have the dreadful 6 month oncology appointments again on Thursday the 17th. Cody's scan is scheduled for 9:45 and we see the doctor at 2:30. We are really praying that things continue to go well for us and we get another round of good news.

I received some good advice from a daily devotional that I get through my email and I'm really trying to put this to work as I tend to get BEYOND anxious about these appointments...When we face a problem or a hardship we have two choices: focus on the problem or fix our eyes on God. If we opt for the first, the problem seems to grow bigger. If we look to God, we will see God's presence and goodness -- and this opens doors to discover a solution. Despair and disappointment can become opportunities to move closer to God and feel God's power.

December 8, 2009...Hot Diggity Dog!!

I thought this video summed up pretty well how Cody and I felt after hearing our good news on Friday....we love this stuff!!!




It still doesn't feel like reality quite yet. I often forget, but I do still get that same giddy feeling everytime it surfaces. I even had to take a home pregnancy test last night. For what reason? I have no idea, but it was definitely necessary last night. We have a due date of August 11, 2010!!! Wow...it seems so far away, but it will be here before we know it. To think we will have a new bundle of joy here for Christmas next year doesn't quite seem possible.

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is worth fighting for."

December 5, 2009....The Results Are In.......

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I honestly don't think there are enough words that would adequately express our shock and excitement!! We are going to have a baby.....FINALLY!!! We had our appointment yesterday, with a urine and blood test, and I think we were both completely stunned. We had really talked ourselves into this not working and were focusing more on, where do we go from here? We had a very excited staff right along with us, as we all shed a few tears. I have to go back in on Monday for more blood work, just to make sure my hCG levels are continuing to go up. At that time they will give me my due date. So you will have to stay tuned for more results on Monday.

Obviously I am VERY early into my pregnancy, and if we were doing this the "normal" way, we wouldn't be sharing our news so soon. However, we know that you all have become an intrical part of our lives and have given us so much in the way of your thoughts, prayers, and encouraging words. At the beginning of all of this I was hesitant to open up about our very emotional roller coaster we were about to embark on. But as I told Cody yesterday, we needed everyone's support, we needed everyone's prayers, and there would have been no way that we could have done this on our own....and so I may have given up a lot of privacy, but I would never change that for the world. We have seen the power of prayer more than once in our lives and God has blessed us once again!!

November 29, 2009...Encouragement During this Long Wait

Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:3-4

November 25, 2009...I'm Back!

Wow, it has been a LONG three days!!! I actually thought I would be better at best rest than I actually was. For the first two days I was required to lay flat on my back, which was much harder than I thought. Then today, I just pretty much had to be a couch potato. Moving into an upright position this morning and hanging out on the couch was much more enjoyable than laying flat in my bed. I am glad my sister was able to get on here and give a little update (thanks Kris!). I wanted to be sure you got at least a little news as to how the appointment went on Monday. Our transfer went very smoothly. I can honestly say the worst part was probably my full bladder. Not only was I full, I was very uncomfortable. I actually ended up in acute care on Sunday, the day before our transfer, and found out I acquired myself a little urinary tract infection. Needless to say, being required to hold a full bladder was borderline inhumane! I was put on antibiotics and have definately felt relief! Before getting started the Dr. came in with the grades our embryos were given on day 5. They are graded on an ABC scale. Three of our embryos were a B+, two of them were a B and one was a C. Our big decision was to decide how many we wanted to transfer. He gave us the choice to do one or two. We obviously choose two. Two of the B+ embryos were actually blastocysts already, so that was very good news and those were the two we transferred. Cody and I had to completely "gown up" before going into the procedure room. I wish I had a camera....I got the giggles looking at cody in a super tight garbage bag-looking gown, a mask, and a hat that made him look more like a chef than a patient. Once we got into the procedure room, I actually couldn't even look at him because I was laughing so hysterically. Once I was situated, the nurse started the ultrasound and was very impressed with my full bladder!!! It pushed my uterus into the exact position it was supposed to. We got to watch everything on the ultrasound monitor. We watched the cathether moving in and in a very brief moment, we got to watch our two tiny embryos move out of the catheter and into the uterus. What an amazing feeling! When he was finished I had to lay upside down for an hour. And when I say upside down, I mean it. My bed was actually at a pretty good angle with my feet in the air. When we were finished there, we then headed over for my last acupuncture session and then headed home where I have been vegging out for the last three days.

Yesterday I received a call from the lab with our final embryo report. They give them until day 6 to see which embryos have made it that far and if they look well enough to freeze. Of our 4 remaining embryos, 2 of them arrested and 2 of them still looked great!! It was absolutely amazing news for us to hear that we have 2 embryos to freeze.

I am down to one injection per day. Although it's only one, it's probably the worst one possible. The progesterone in oil burns like hell and leaves a terrible bruise. I am sure to ice it up good before Cody gives it and we try to alternate hips depending on which one feels the best at the time. I also just started a Vivelle patch today, which is just another dose of hormones.

I have to go back in a couple of weeks for the big pregnancy test. I am actually going to reserve the exact date for just Cody and I.....I figure we have to have some element of surprise. Until then, we just hurry up and wait....and pray!!

Cody and I want to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. As we reflect on the blessings we have received this past year, every single one of you come to mind. We have been blessed!

November 23, 2009...Embryo Transfer

Hello! This is Holli's sister Kristal and because she is required to be flat on her back for the next 2 days, she is unable to get to her computer. So, here I am to update! I talked to her on the phone this afternoon.

The transfer went well this morning. They had 3 embryos that looked really good, 2 that were decent, and 1 that was not so good. So they chose the best 2, and transferred them both. They were able to watch the embryos on the ultrasound monitor, being transferred from the catheter into the uterus. And they even got ultrasound pictures. She is pretty excited about that (I told her, they were the babies first picture!)

Holli wanted me to update with the basic information, when she is up and around again she will give the "extended version" of the appointment.

November 20, 2009... Growing Embryos

I finally got a chance to talk to Dr. Hansen's office this afternoon. They let us know that our teeny tiny babies are still growing in petri dishes! Crazy, I know. The nurse didn't get a chance to talk to the embryologist much about how well the embryos looked specifically, but she did say they felt they looked good enough to wait and do a 5-day transfer on Monday!!!  It's a little frustrating not to know anymore about how well they are doing...if any are pulling ahead or if others are lagging behind. Our transfer is scheduled for 7:30 Monday morning. The embryo transfer is the last procedure in the IVF process, and it could be considered the most important. The entire IVF cycle depends on the very delicate placement of the embryos at the proper location in the uterine cavity.  I was also told that I have to come with a very full bladder. And the way they made it sound....VERY FULL. Apparently this allows for better ultrasound visualization of the catheter and a full bladder also pushes against the uterus in order to get a better angle to insert the catheter, making the process easier and less traumatic for both the endometrial lining and the embryos. The nurse said a full bladder can increase my chances by 30-50%. I will have a full bladder!! The process will look much like my first IUI's, only the catheter will be loaded with the embryos, rather than just sperm. The catheter will be threaded through my cervix and into my uterus all while being guided by ultrasound. When the catheter tip reaches the ideal location, the embryos are then "transferred" or squirted out of the catheter onto the endometrial lining. After the procedure I will be required to lay in the office for an hour.

I will also be finishing up my last couple of acupuncture sessions. I am to do one treatment before the transfer and one after the transfer. The pre-treatment will most likely be done on Sunday night...needless to say, these doctors are wonderful! This treatment is to prepare my body for what is about to happen. The post treatment will take place immediately after I am done at Dr. Hansen's office. The post treatment has a very small window of time that it can take place. The purpose of this treatment is to get my uterus to contract just enough to get the embryos burrowed down into the uterine lining. Amazing stuff!!

After the transfer I will be taking it easy for a few days...giving those little buggers the best chance possible. We are really trying to draw that fine line about getting really excited but not getting overly excited. Please pray for us.

November 19, 2009...We Have Fertilization!!!

Our nurse called me this morning at about 9:30 with our news. Of the 12 eggs they retrieved yesterday, one of them was immature and one was "empty" or lacking any genetic material. So 10 of them were appropriate to be fertilized using ICSI, (inserting a single sperm directly into each egg). Out of those 10 eggs, 6 of them fertilized!!!! We are soo excited to get this news!! We were also supposed to find out today whether or not we would be doing a 3 or a 5 day transfer. But, it turns out that 6 embryos is a borderline number to make a decision, so they weren't able to tell us today...go figure. The embryologist would like to give them another day in the lab and call us tomorrow with the decision. I've been reading a lot about it and have definitely found some varying opinions in the medical community about which day is better to transfer embryos back into the uterus. I read today that when embryos are cultured from day 3 to day 5, some of them may stop developing but most of them will continue to become blastocysts. Therefore, by choosing the best blastocysts for transfer on day 5, they can choose much more reliably those with the best potential for implanting and making a baby. In my opinion, I would feel better about a 5-day transfer, because it allows the embryos a little more time to develop and to reach the important bastocyst stage before transferring them back. I am sure it is a case-by-case situation of watching each particular couple's embryos to see how well they're tolerating it in the lab and whether the embryologist thinks it would be beneficial to get them into the womb sooner. Either way, we won't know our transfer day until tomorrow. And, of course, we still don't know how many we'll transfer back because we don't know how many out of the 6 will make it that far. Most likely, because of my age, the doctor will recommend transferring only one or two embryos. But trust me, we didn't come this far to only transfer one...I will fight tooth and nail to transfer two...we are too invested at this point. We hope and pray that all of them grow like they're supposed to so we can freeze the one's we didn't use for a future cycle. If any of them make it long enough and look healthy enough to go through the freezing process, our next cycle would be starting right here. Everything we have done up to this point would not have to be done again if we could use frozen embryos. They would only have to survive thawing and the transfer. Which would be a miracle, but let's not get too far ahead of ourselves!

As far as healing from the egg retrieval, I am feeling pretty good. Yesterday I had some terrible cramping but slept most of the day away. Today I still have some pretty good cramping, but nothing to complain about. When I put my dress pants on this morning and went to button them up, I thought to myself I would much rather be spending the day in my pajamas!!!

November 18, 2009...Egg Retrieval Accomplished

The egg retrieval went great today. IV drugs are amazing, that's all I've got to say. I've been experiencing some pretty intense abdominal cramps, which is completely normal because they seriously jabbed a needle through my uterus and directly into both ovaries to aspirate the follicles. Ouch! But anyway, we were out of the office by 9:30, so no complications at all. They retrieved 12 eggs. That is actually a very good number. Ten eggs is average, and they hope to get in the range of 8-12, so we were right on the money. The lab will fertilize the eggs this afternoon and we will get a phone call sometime tomorrow (Thursday) letting us know how many eggs actually achieved fertilization. It is a little out of my comprehension to think that Cody and I are potentially creating embryos right this minute. It's really quite amazing.

The nurse did my first IM (intramuscular shot) in my rear this morning while I was still in recovery. The injection is progesterone in oil and is something we now have to do everyday. I am hoping Cody does as good of a job as the nurse did...I am sure he will, I have faith in him!! I will also start on an antibiotic tonight to deter any possible risks of infection from today.

We can't wait for the phone call tomorrow, hopefully with some good news. I will share with you tomorrow!!

November 17, 2009...Egg Retrieval

I just want to clear up any confusion as to what is happening tomorrow. Tomorrow we are doing our egg retrieval only. Cody and I have to be at the lab at 6am where Cody will give a semen collection and I will get ready for the retrieval. The procedure will actually start at 7 oclock. They will put me to sleep and then Dr. Hansen will insert a long needle through my vagina and into my ovaries. He will aspirate all of the liquid out of every follicle on each ovary. When he is finished, he gives everything to the lab who then have a long day ahead of them. They will wake me up and hopefully I will have a quick recovery and we will be on our way. As long as I am feeling fine, I should be able to go back to my regular routine on Thursday. Throughout the day tomorrow, the lab will be removing my eggs from the liquid aspirated and place them in a dish. They will then look through Cody's sperm and pick out the "best looking" sperm and prepare them. Once everything is ready they will be doing the ICSI procedure, where they will be inserting a single sperm into each egg. This is obviously an extremely delicate process. Once the sperm is inserted into the egg, we then have to wait to see if fertilization occurs. Tomorrow, before we leave, we will only know the number of eggs that were retrieved. We will then receive a call on Thursday from the nurse telling us how many of the eggs actually fertilized (which we will then call our embryos). They very rarely get 100% fertilization, but we are hoping for a good number. We will also find out whether or not we will have a 3 day transfer or a 5 day transfer (that is the time when they will transfer the embryos back into my uterus). This will be determined by how many eggs were retrieved and how they look once fertilization takes place. The embryos then have a few days to "grow" before the transfer takes place. This will happen on either Saturday or Monday. So yes, tomorrow is a big day. Please pray for peace, comfort and success....I am VERY nervous.

November 15, 2009...Wednesday It Is!

We have a date. Our egg retrieval is scheduled for 7am this Wednesday!! After looking at my follicles again today, the number of measurable follicles has gone up, but I didn't ask how many total follicles we were looking at now. When the dr. does the egg retrieval he said that he goes into every follicle and aspirates the liquid out of each of them. He then hands it directly to the lab and they are the ones that take it and look for the egg. So we may not get an egg out of every follicle, but that is the hope...so that's why he goes into every one, even the smaller ones. We are just hoping for a good number of good quality eggs. I will continue with my shots through tomorrow night, along with my hCG trigger shot, which is exactly 35 hours before the retrieval. Then no shots required for Tuesday!!! I know it's only one day, but at this point, I'll take whatever break I can get! Cody and I have to be at the clinic at 6am that morning. The actual process takes a very short period of time, but because of the invasive-ness of it all, they do put me under anesthesia. Including recovery time, the nurse thinks we will be out of there between 9 and 9:30 that morning. We are praying that everything goes smoothly.

Believe me, I am beyond nervous, HOWEVER, I am absolutely thrilled to be here and actually have this date scheduled...we are finally getting to the good part!!!!

November 14, 2009...No News

My ultrasound this morning showed that I am getting closer, but still not quite ready. The doctor really wanted to be able to give me some more detailed news, but he said he just couldn't. They would like me to continue with my meds. AGAIN, back to the pharmacy...sending me into meltdown mode once I got into my car. For some reason I was under the impression that my first large bag of medicine was going to be everything I needed. So every time I have to fork over more money, it's a little difficult to swallow. I understand that my body is unpredictable and of course they don't want you to pay for more than you need, but our cost for meds alone is really starting to stack up. Anyway, my ultrasound this morning showed 4 follicles on the right side and 6 on the left (so a couple less than the original 12 they were thinking). The biggest follicle in my right ovary measured 15 and the biggest one in my left is measuring at a 17. Ideally they would like the follicles measuring between 18 and 22. So I have to go back in tomorrow morning so they can take another look. I am really hoping we can pinpoint a retrieval date tomorrow. It's hard not to want to rush things but I have to put my faith in everyone that they know what they are doing and we will get the ball rolling when I am ready, and not until then.

November 13, 2009...On The Road Again

I apologize for not getting an update on here yesterday, just didn't get the time. I had my ultrasound appointment with Dr. Hansen yesterday morning at 7:15. Then I drove back to Worthington to work for the day, and then had to be back in Sioux Falls by 4:30 for my acupuncture appointment. I didn't get back to Brewster until about 8:00 last night, only to finish laundry and quickly pack our weekend bags so they could be in the car this morning as we have to be back to Sioux Falls this afternoon for another appointment. This has been a little challenging and I am putting a lot of effort into making sure I always have with me the right medication for the right time of day. All of my injections are required to be given at the same time every day, and because I haven't always had Cody with me at these times, my parents have had to step up and take on the challenge. We got a pretty good show yesterday morning when my dad attempted my morning injection (right mom?).

The results of my ultrasound showed that my eggs are growing, which is good, but they are not yet mature enough. Everything is a very exact science. All of my eggs have to be just the right size before egg retrieval. But they can't be too big and they can't be too small. So finding the perfect time where the majority of eggs are within the right size is a tricky process, hence all of the ultrasounds so they can be montirored very, very carefully. My plan of action is to continue with the stimulating meds and go back in Saturday morning for another ultrasound. So back to the pharmacy, another $460.00 for just four more injections to get me through to Saturday morning, and away I went. Thanks to my uncontrollable mood swings I seem to be having lately, I actually thought I might cry over the thought of handing over my check card. But once I got into the car and called Cody, we have learned it's easier to just laugh at the insanity of it all rather than getting upset.

The dr. is thinking my appointment on Saturday will give us much more information as to when my egg retrieval might take place. They are guessing Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of next week, but hopefully they will get that narrowed down once we go in on Saturday. Stay tuned for further details.

November 10, 2009...Grow eggs, grow!!

I started my stimulating meds last Saturday morning. This will help all 12 (or thereabout) follicles develop into mature eggs that will hopefully be capable of being fertilized once my egg retrieval takes place.  So now we're up to three injections a day, one in the morning and two at night. I am also continuing my trips over to Sioux Falls for acupuncture. Although I'm beginning to feel a little like a pin cushion, everything is going well, so I can't complain. I have another ultrasound appointment scheduled for early Thursday morning. Hopefully this will give us a little more information as to how my follicles are looking and possibly more of an idea of when egg retrieval will occur.

I would like to give my husband HUGE props for being the absolute best husband a girl could ever ask for. He has provided me with unlimited support and patience throughout this process and I don't know what I would do without him. He is going to make an incredible dad someday!

November 4, 2009...BIG Day!

I started my morning with acupuncture. I know right, completely stepping out of my comfort zone with this one. Our doctor, along with several other people, recommended we (or I) should do acupuncture along with our IVF cycle. As invested as we are in this process, we thought we should really go all the way. Leave no recommendations un-dabbled. So here I am dabbling into something I never thought, in a million years, would be something I could see myself doing. Seriously, lying on a table, my body covered in needles....yeah, not so much anything I would have ever envisioned. I kind of wished someone was there to take my picture!!! But it actually wasn't too bad. I can honestly admit there was nothing to it....which is probably a good thing, because there is a recommended 8 session protocol to accompany IVF. The purpose of acupuncture, in my case right now, is to increase blood flow to my uterus and my ovaries. This will help with the implantation process. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

After spending my morning spreading my wings, I headed over to Dr. Hansen's office for my first ultrasound appointment. At this point, my ovaries look good. They are showing about 6 follicles on each side. So hopefully there will be about 12 eggs on the day of Egg Retrieval...give or take a few. But 12 is a perfectly average number, so they were happy with that. Typically they would have started me on my stimulating medications today, but they want me to wait until Saturday. If they would have started me today, then my Egg Retrieval would have more than likely landed on a weekend. Which, if they can help it, the lab "people" really prefer not to do it on the weekends. So, if they start me on Saturday then my Egg Retrieval will fall sometime during the week. Which, as of now, they are looking at sometime around the 17th/18th of November. Then on to the pharmacy to pick up my "bag of goods."  This is all of the medication that I will need from here on out. Even with our insurance coverage, I have one thing to say.....STICKER SHOCK!!!

I finished out my afternoon with a bang.....a root canal!  No need to elaborate. A LONG 3 hours later and another big check, I called it a day. I did a lot of praying today. Not only for comfort, for obvious reasons, but for peace and acceptance. It's a hard thing to grasp...the fact that we are putting all of this time, money, and effort into something that isn't even a guarantee. But we remain hopeful!

October 26, 2009...so far, so good

The first couple days of injections have gone very well. As you can see, the needle we are using now is MUCH smaller than anything we have done in the past. It is smaller because this injection doesn't have to go into a muscle. It is actually given in my stomach, just below my belly button to either side. Although the needle is smaller and given in an area where I could give it to myself....I of course have opted to assign that job to my wonderful husband. I find having to deal with so many needles actually rather humerous at this point. For those of you who are familiar with my past fear of needles, you know the panic I would have at just the thought of a sharp object. For those of you who did not know that, there are literally no words to describe, as some might call, a "2-year old fit" I was known to have...yes, even into my 20's.  I am ashamed, but have come a long way. We have a lot of injections ahead of us, so we can definately both say we are thankful for my recent "maturity" on the matter.

October 23, 2009...Today's appointment

Wow...another appointment with a ton of information. Today:
*We each gave 5 vials of blood
*Cody collected a "just in case" sperm sample. This would be used as back-up in the event that Cody would be sick or would have an emergency the day of my egg retrieval and wouldn't get a sample collected.
*I completed a Saline Infusion Sonogram (SIS). This consists of imaging the uterus through an ultrasound while injecting saline into the uterine cavity. This is an attempt to detect any abnormalities such as polyps or fibroids that could be contributing to our infertility. Another VERY uncomfortable procedure, but thank goodness for normal results!
*We finished by going through injection training. Yikes!! Again, a lot of information. I was getting extremely overwhelmed but the nurse assured us that she was just giving us an overview and we only have to take it one step at a time and worry about what we are doing in the "now" versus looking at what is to come.
As far as my injection schedule goes, I already start tomorrow. This shot of Lupron is something I will do everyday and is to be taken in conjunction with the last five days of my birth control (to continue the suppression of my ovaries). I will continue this everyday until my egg retrieval, which will probably take place somewhere around November 13-17th.
I can definately say I'm getting a little anxious about starting with all of these injections, but we completed another big hurdle today and were blessed by coming out on top!!

October 9, 2009...and we begin...

Well, we have officially taken the very first step. I started taking the birth control pills on the 8th. I know it doesn't seem like much at this time, but Cody and I are very, very excited and hopeful that this process will result in expanding our family!! I will take the birth control pills until the 28th to keep my ovaries "asleep." We both have appointments on the 23rd...lab work, more tests, and injection training. You probably won't hear from me again until after that appointment. I am very surprised at how excited I am for this all to take place. A few months ago, I was terrified of the thought of going through with IVF. But now that we are here...bring it on!!! I can't wait!!

September 29, 2009...Finally, some good news!

Our appointment this afternoon went extremely well. Actually, better than we could have ever expected it to go. It was primarily a consultation prior to beginning IVF...discussing everything from the process to the risk factors. We gained an ENORMOUS amount of information today...it's hard to wrap my brain around everything. But the best news we could have received was from the financial worker. Once we saw the doctor and decided we were going to go through with this, he then schedules everyone involved to come in and "talk their talk." When the financial worker came in, she sat down and asked if we were aware of the fact, that as of this past July, my insurance now covers IVF (up to a certain dollar amount, of course)....but we didn't care, we were ecstatic!!!! I looked over at Cody and I think we both had tears in our eyes. She was absolutely thrilled to be able to be the one to give us that news. Just as much as she made our day, I think we made hers too :) A few weeks ago in church, our pastor gave a sermon that really spoke right to my heart: What is God's Purpose for Your Life? Knowing that we all have something left to offer the Lord, even in times of hardship. When you come to the end of your resources, a place where we are afraid, the Bible says you can expect a miracle. When you come to a disaster, God says this is the beginning of something great. The last week or so, I have been panicking, trying to get our finances in order and everything in place before taking this huge plunge. We have honestly felt like our resources were coming to an end, but this was something we had to figure out a way to do. I have realized that I can't look at what's been taken away or what we don't have, but what we do have. The message that Sunday focused on looking at what we do have and offering it to the Lord...and this is when we will see the blessings flow. God gave us a miracle today and we are on cloud-9.

I will give you a brief overview of "In-Vitro Fertilization":
*The whole process will take 2 months
1. I will begin by taking birth control (for a month) to suppress my natural hormones. The purpose of this is to keep my ovaries asleep so that I do not ovulate on my own.
2. This will be followed by MANY injections in order to stimulate the production of healthy eggs.
3. Once the eggs reach a healthy size (monitored by MANY ultrasounds), the Egg Retrieval will take place. This is a surgical procedure where a needle is passed through the vagina to aspirate the eggs out of each ovary. Yes, I will be put to sleep for this :)
4. Now for the egg and the sperm to meet...in a petri dish! Because Cody's counts are so low, they will be doing a procedure called ICSI (Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection). This is done by injecting one sperm directly into one egg. If fertilization occurs, the embryologist will incubate and monitor the embryos for 3-5 days to make sure they develop properly.
5. After the 3-5 days of growing embryos, they will be transferred back into my uterus.
6. Finally, approximately 2 weeks after the transfer, I will go in for a pregnancy test. The embryo MUST implant itself into the uterine lining. That's all it has to do. Everything has been done for it, all it has to do is find itself a nice, cozy place to rest and STAY THERE!!!

*I, of course, had to ask the doctor what the success rate looked like for this, and I was actually pleasantly surprised. He said a normal success rate is around 50-55%. But he thought because we were young and with our only problem being Cody's low sperm count (it's great that his morphology, or shape of the sperm, looks really good) that he sees us to be in the upper end, probably around 60-65% success rate!!

I know that was a lot of information. To keep you updated, I will continue to post more information as we go through each step, as to what we are specifically doing in the process. Our first step now, is for me to call on the first day of my next cycle (which I'm guessing will be within the week). At that time I will go on birth control for a month. Also during this time, Cody and I will both have to go back for more tests. This is a scary, yet exciting time for us and we ask for you to continue to keep us in your prayers. We COULD NOT do this without all of you!

September 24, 2009...IVF Here We Come!

I have finally gotten my many phone calls made and everything seems to be figured out...at this point anyway. I wanted to make sure we had everything taken care of through ARC and the bank before making an appointment with the doctor. We have our first appointment on Tuesday afternoon. This will just be to discuss the procedures and how everything will lay out. We are nervous, but anxiously looking forward to it. I think the anticipation is worse than the process (I might be changing my mind on that statement in a few weeks). But we are hoping for the best. I am sure I will be filled with knowledge after our appointment on Tuesday :)

September 17, 2009...Update

Today I had my MRI on my spine and my appointment with the doctor. Things went very well. It's been 6 months since my last one and today things looked good. The MRI still shows the fluid filled cavity in my spinal cord, but it doesn't look like it's growing or changing at all. My back has actually felt very good the last few months, so I was hoping things would look good today. My doctor feels very comfortable having me come back in a year.

We are still working on getting this IVF process into motion. Our fertility clinic in Sioux Falls is part of a network called Advanced Reproductive Care (ARC). This program is designed to help couples build their families by offering various IVF treatment packages. These packages are designed by lumping services together and offering discounted prices versus paying for the services individually. But trust me, when I say "discounted prices" it's kind of something to laugh at. The other advantage of going through this program is that they offer financing options. I never thought the day would come when we had to take out a loan "in hopes" of a child. Financing has to be in place before treatment can begin and because the clinic asks for the entire payment up front (not including meds), we need a little help from the bank. So that is where we are at in our journey. As soon as everything is in place, I will be giving the doctor a call so we can get moving on things. Please keep us in your prayers. Just in the few phone calls I've made so far, I have found this to be very overwhelming....and we haven't even started with the treatments!!!

September 4, 2009...Aunt Holli

Yep that’s right – you heard me correctly. I’m going to be an aunt. My sister is having a baby!!! ~WOW~ This is a hard post for me to write. For several months now I’ve been giving my sister a hard time, telling her that it was time for them to start trying to have kids. If I can’t bring children into this family, then she might as well give it a try. She obviously had concerns, knowing how hard it would be on me if they were able to get pregnant while we were still trying. I shared my feelings with her...this is certainly something I didn’t want them to put on hold because of us. They cannot live their lives based on what’s going on in ours. If they were ready for children, then they needed to do what was best for them. Although, I could understand her hesitation. I told her she was right, it would be hard for me, but I would still be super excited...it would be the next best thing. Right??? How wrong was I!?! Now that the time is actually here and the news is real, I can’t believe how difficult it’s been for me to handle. Again, I want to reiterate, this is not easy for me to write, because I know this is going to be read by my family. I have said from the beginning...not for one single second do I EVER want to take the excitement away from Kris and Josh, and from my parents who are overjoyed to be grandparents. On the other hand, it has often taken every fiber of my being not to bust into tears every time the topic comes up. I want to be excited. I don’t know how to be excited. I am having a very difficult time handling the overwhelming emotions I’ve been experiencing. I try to let myself experience it and go through whatever I am feeling, rather than suppressing it. I let myself feel angry, I let myself hurt, and I let myself cry. It’s important for me to know that that’s ok. These are real feelings for me. It's hard to watch everyone dance, while I'm still waiting for my party to begin. I continue to pray for guidance in this area, I am needing a little help right now.

Kristal, my dear sister ~ please know that I am beyond happy for you two and I honestly AM thrilled to become this baby’s favorite aunt :) although I am having a rough time showing it. Please forgive me.

September 2, 2009...Our News (or lack thereof)

Once again, it is a sad day in the Finke household. This baby makin' stuff is getting harder and harder. Our third, and final, round of IUI failed us once again. I will be calling the doctor in the next few days, but our plan will be to begin the steps to conquer our first round of In-Vitro Fertilization. I am especially bummed this time around, mostly because I am absolutely terrified to do IVF. The only thing that keeps me positive about it, is that it may just be the one thing that could possibly bring us closer to becoming mommy and daddy. I'm not sure how things will go now that we've decided on IVF. I will find out more once I call our doctor. Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers. I strongly believe they will be answered one day...in one way or another.

August 25, 2009...Waiting

This has currently become my favorite song on the radio. I think it is soo touching and it hits me to the core of my being. I will usually sing along....although it's typically with a shaky voice and tears streaming down my face. When dealing with infertility and various treatments, so much of our time is spent in "waiting." I thought this would be an appropriate time to post this video.

August 20, 2009...Thursday

Just a quick update as to how today went. Things went very smoothly as far as the insemination goes. I wouldn't say it went quite as well as the last time, but as long as it didn't come close to the pain of the first one...I don't care! Cody's counts today were 500,000, so up from last time, but still a number to laugh at. That is why this will be our last one before moving on to IVF. Ooops, I guess I shouldn't talk about that quite yet. Cody tries to remind me to stay positive and hopefully we won't need to do IVF. I try to listen to him, but sometimes it's hard :) So now we have the dreaded WAIT.

August 19, 2009...hCG

Human Chorionic Gonadotropin. This is an intramuscular injection that has to be given in the hip/rear area. For our third round of IUI, Cody gave me my hCG shot last night at 10:00. First of all, Cody wasn't too impressed with having to give it at exactly 10:00. As many of you know, that is well past Cody's bedtime :) The purpose of the hCG trigger shot is to induce ovulation. The Clomid pills that I took earlier in my cycle was to increase the production of eggs. The hormone injection that we did last night helps to get the most mature follicles to rupture, releasing multiple healthy eggs. Ideally an IUI should be scheduled 36 hours after the trigger shot. Therefore, our appointment is scheduled for Thursday morning at 10:00...exactly 36 hours. Cody has to be in an hour earlier for his collection and it typically takes about an hour to do the sperm washing.

I am not exactly sure why I am smiling in this photo. Apparently I wasn't aware of how unpleasant it was going to be. The first one that Cody gave went EXTREMELY well. Last night's was a little less than to be desired. Let's hope it's all worth it!!

August 17, 2009...High

Great news....heard back from the nurse and it turns out I have NOT ovulated yet!!! That's great news, as that means this month wasn't wasted and we don't have to wait another month. Super excited!!! So that means my trigger shot will be tomorrow night at 10pm and we will go in for our insemination at 10am on Thursday the 20th. I know last month we weren't very hopeful, but this time we are going to try and be more positive. Third time's a charm right? Gotta be!

Highs and Lows

Why does everything have to be so darn emotional?? I had my ultrasound this morning and there was some fluid showing behind my uterus. This could be because of impending ovulation, however it's more likely that I already have ovulated. I had to do some bloodwork for them to check my hormone levels, which apparently tells them whether or not ovulation has occurred. If I have already, then we are SOL and have to wait until next cycle, which totally stinks!!! If I have not, then we will give my follicles one more day to grow, do the hCG shot tomorrow night, and the insemination on Thursday morning. They put a rush on the labwork so I am hoping to be hearing back from the nurse shortly.

August 12, 2009...God will never make your life manageable, because then you would try to manage it!

Everything looked fine on my first ultrasound for this next cycle. The Dr. thought maybe we should have Cody do another semen analysis, just to kind of see where we are sitting again. He said it's kind of hard to know, with such low sperm counts, how long we should keep trying IUI. I shared with him that this would be our last attempt and then we would move on. After that news, he didn't think another analysis would be necessary, because if we move on to IVF, it doesn't matter what his counts look like. They put me on another dose of Clomid for five days. However this time, they upped my dosage from 100mg to 150mg...you wouldn't think that would be much, or at least I didn't think that would make much of a difference, but the headaches I have been getting from it have certainly confirmed an additional 50mg...miserable! The purpose of increasing the dose is to hopefully get more follicles to work with. The better the follicles, the more eggs that are likely to be released, and the more eggs that are released, the better the chances of those little sperm hitting something!! My next ultrasound is scheduled for Monday the 17th. I am assuming if things look good at this one, then the insemination would be scheduled for two days after that. We will have to see though. Our first one went like clockwork. The second one, not so much. It's certainly something we have come to realize that we can't predict and have learned to just go with the flow.

We are headed to Des Moines this weekend for the Iowa State Fair and hopefully a great weekend with the fam...we hope it's not too hot!! Kris and Josh~can't wait to see you soon!!!!!

You will hear from me again after my appointment on Monday............wish us luck!

August 6, 2009...Splendid

Three days, a lot of shopping, a lot of food, and a lot of laughter.....nothing can be better than spending a little time with your sister!! My time in Des Moines was well spent. I made myself a little friend while I was down there. Booger and I learned a lot about each other in a short little while :) Here is my new pal:

As far as our next IUI cycle is concerned...I am scheduled to go in for my baseline ultrasound tomorrow, Friday, at 3:15. My emotions are getting the best of me today. Please help me to remember the importance of sitting back and letting the Lord's plan for our life take place. I am struggling with that right now.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the LORD" Isaiah 55:8

August 4, 2009...Round #2

NEGATIVE.... I guess we didn't have too high of hopes this round. Because we were only working with 200,000 sperm, we knew we didn't have a real good chance. It doesn't make the disappointment any easier to take though. I am sitting in Des Moines, hanging out with my sister, which is a good place for me to be to help take my mind off of things. I will be calling the doctor today sometime and see when I can get in for my next ultrasound. Cody and I have discussed it, and we are going to give IUI one more shot. If this next round doesn't take.......I guess we are on to IVF. We are soo hoping that we don't have to do that. Especially because I would just be starting back at school and an IVF cycle would be so demanding on our time and schedules. Everything is timed just precisely and we don't have a say in any of it. We have to go with my body and there are many appointments that would be involved in it. We are willing to go for it though. In the beginning, IVF seemed so far off yet and I didn't even want to think about it. But now here we are, getting closer, and we are thinking about it. And we are still willing to do whatever it takes. I'll keep you updated as to how the next few days will play out.

July 22, 2009...Hurdles

Welcome to our new blog!! I have created this blog in order to give myself some more freedom and flexibility with postings. I will continue to post all information just as I have done in the past...(this isn't necessarily JUST about our infertility journey). As I am trying to establish this site, I am posting some of our pictures from our Caringbridge page, because they are important to us and help tell our story. I will not close the Caringbridge site (there is too much past history that I would never be able to let go of), but I will no longer post any new postings. Our life has dealt us hurdles, but we try our best to overcome them and have become stronger individuals and a stronger couple because of it.

"God will not bring you to what he will not bring you through."

July 2005

Cody back at home after brain surgery.

Chatting was a difficult task, Cody lost his voice for 3 months due to his intubation tube

30 stitches from ear to ear



October 10, 2005
Done with Radiation!

January 2006
Cody in Vegas! We won this trip through KTWB's Christmas Wish Contest

July 8, 2006

Our Wedding Day!

March 2009
One of our first attempts to treat Cody's low sperm count. I had to give him injections 3 times a week.

He wasn't necessarily too fond of that in his rear. I love him for what he goes through!