Yep that’s right – you heard me correctly. I’m going to be an aunt. My sister is having a baby!!! ~WOW~ This is a hard post for me to write. For several months now I’ve been giving my sister a hard time, telling her that it was time for them to start trying to have kids. If I can’t bring children into this family, then she might as well give it a try. She obviously had concerns, knowing how hard it would be on me if they were able to get pregnant while we were still trying. I shared my feelings with her...this is certainly something I didn’t want them to put on hold because of us. They cannot live their lives based on what’s going on in ours. If they were ready for children, then they needed to do what was best for them. Although, I could understand her hesitation. I told her she was right, it would be hard for me, but I would still be super excited...it would be the next best thing. Right??? How wrong was I!?! Now that the time is actually here and the news is real, I can’t believe how difficult it’s been for me to handle. Again, I want to reiterate, this is not easy for me to write, because I know this is going to be read by my family. I have said from the beginning...not for one single second do I EVER want to take the excitement away from Kris and Josh, and from my parents who are overjoyed to be grandparents. On the other hand, it has often taken every fiber of my being not to bust into tears every time the topic comes up. I want to be excited. I don’t know how to be excited. I am having a very difficult time handling the overwhelming emotions I’ve been experiencing. I try to let myself experience it and go through whatever I am feeling, rather than suppressing it. I let myself feel angry, I let myself hurt, and I let myself cry. It’s important for me to know that that’s ok. These are real feelings for me. It's hard to watch everyone dance, while I'm still waiting for my party to begin. I continue to pray for guidance in this area, I am needing a little help right now.
Kristal, my dear sister ~ please know that I am beyond happy for you two and I honestly AM thrilled to become this baby’s favorite aunt :) although I am having a rough time showing it. Please forgive me.
Oh, how well I know what you are going thru. It is so emotional. You hold sooooo many expectations. Bitter-sweet feelings....it goes on and on. Hang in there guys. Great things are worth the wait. And yes, it is OK (totally ok) for you to be feeling EVERY emotion that you are feeling. You are very strong but don't be afraid to be weak from time to time. We know that realistically we would ALL have the very same feelings that you are feeling. We continue to pray that the next step in your JOURNEY will be successful very early on. May God Bless you with the gift you have waited so long for. We Love You Guys!!
ReplyDeleteCody & Holli,
ReplyDeleteJust a note to let you know that we are thinking of you as always, hang in there God is giving you this test we are not sure why but he will help you through this next step in life.God will answer your prayes.please keep talking about your feeling Don't keep them bottled up inside it will only hurt more. Love Ya we will keep praying gary,char, & keyane
All I can say is DITTO. Stay strong and talk about how you feel. It's the best for EVERYONE. You have great support in each other and your family and friends. Always remember that. We're there for you!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lucky baby this is to have such a strong, brave auntie!! You should be proud of yourself for how honestly and bravely you are handling this. You are one of the stongest people I know. Love you dearly, Dana
ReplyDelete