Simply Love

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippian's 4:6-7

(a dear friend shared the following devotion with me, and it was perfect)

.......... 

Dear Father, you are the Prince of Peace and the great I Am. You are my helper and my redeemer.

I need your help today. I am weak and frail and tired. Give me the strength to get through just this day and the desire to work as if I am doing it all for your glory.

Help those who are carrying especially heavy burdens right now. They need your power and peace that goes beyond our understanding.

I am so grateful that I can come to you and present my requests at any time. Thank you for giving me peace and rest even in the hard times.

In the name of the Prince of Peace, I pray, amen.

 





Today, I have the overwhelming feeling of frustration.  And I feel like I don't have the right to feel that way. After all, he's the one who is sick. I'm just the caregiver. There is NOTHING in the world I want more right now, than to take his pain away. I get the fact that he's in pain and I can't imagine what he's going through.

BUT,

I'm busting my ass to not only make sure he gets Keppra 2x/day, Medrol dose pak 6x/day, Oxycodone 6x/day, Tylenol 4x/day, Reglan 4x/day (for headache), DocQLace 2x/day, and Miralax 1x/day, but to also make sure I don't drive too fast, brake too fast, hit bumps too hard, don't laugh when I think he's funny but he's not trying to be funny, don't move him too much when I roll over in bed, tell him when he's taking a steroid so he's prepared for the nasty taste in his mouth, make sure he has a straw in his cup, give him enough time to get out of bed before we need to be somewhere, help him get out of bed but not pull him up too fast, be there when he gets out of the shower to help dry his legs and put on his shorts, put his socks and shoes on, keep up with phone calls and appointments, updating family and the blog.

I'm starting to crack. And I'm afraid the crack is going to get bigger. And if there's anything I do NOT want to do, is break. Because if I break, I don't think I'll be able to pull myself back together.