Monday, October 31, 2011

11 weeks

Baby is now the size of a lime!


Baby currently has a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through it. But fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds, and nail beds are forming.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

check out our new ride!



We are the proud new owners of a 2008 Expedition EL and we are very excited!! With a third one coming on the way, we simply needed more room. Our Edge will not accommodate a third car seat so we needed something bigger. If you know Cody, you know he is a FORD guy and I was not allowed to look at anything but. So I had two options...an Explorer or an Expedition. We started looking at the regular Expeditions with the third row seating, did some measuring, and there just wasn't enough room behind the seats to allow for strollers and luggage. We tried folding seats down in the middle to see if we could strollers in that way and still, not enough room. We really felt our only option at this point was to go with the extended length. We went car shopping yesterday with the intentions of just trying to figure out what we were looking for. When we narrowed it down to the EL, we had found one on the internet in Sioux Falls and made it our last stop of the day. We had absolutely no intentions to buy yesterday, but before we knew it we were signing our life away :)  We don't have it in our possession quite yet. We got them to agree to fix a couple of things and it should be done in a couple of days. We already have a buyer for our Edge so everything worked our perfectly.  Now I've just got to get used to driving this big bus!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

doing it the hard way

I'm not really sure the purpose of this post...maybe more for my future reference than your enjoyment. Maybe because the bills are starting to come in and we're feeling the stress. But, I just wanted to lay out the cost of just trying to become pregnant.

Initial IVF Cycle:
*Follicular Monitoring (office visits, ultrasounds, lab work)
     $2,300.00
*Retrieval of eggs
     $2,100.00
*Fertilization Process
     $2,400.00
*Embryo Transfer
     $1,300.00
*Freezing and Storage of Embryos at Sanford
     $780.00
*ICSI Procedure (isolating single sperm and injecting into egg)
     $1,100.00
*Anesthesia Physicians
     $200.00
*Medications
     $4,000.00

Total ESTIMATED Cost:  $14,180
     *This did not include any of our initial infertility testing and any costs for Cody (including semen collections and lab work)

Frozen Embryo Transfer
*Follicular Monitoring (Office visits, ultrasounds, lab work)
     $1,200.00
*Thawing of Embryos
     $600.00
*Embryo Transfer
     $1,400.00
*Medications
     $600.00

Total ESTIMATED Cost: $3,800.00


We can't even begin to tell you how blessed we feel that both of these processes worked for us the FIRST time. But geez, it sure would have been easier to just hop into bed :)

here she is...

MY NIGHTMARE!!!


I will be one happy girl when these things are done. I have 79 under my belt with only 12 left to go!! I don't know how much more my butt can handle :)

Monday, October 24, 2011

I'm having kind of an icky day and here's the reason why.  I guess you could call me a "blog stalker."  Yep, I totally love looking into other people's lives and comparing their day to day to ours. I guess it makes me feel like I'm not the only crazy one out there, HA :)

Well along the way, about a year ago, I came across a blog about a young couple who needed prayers as their 18 month old was involved in a drowning accident. After several days of following them, finally came the post that their baby girl had gone home to be with Jesus. H.E.A.R.T.W.R.E.N.C.H.I.N.G!!!  It's not a blog that I follow every day, but every now and again I have to go back and try to "catch-up."  I can't even explain to you the uncontrollable sobbing and the sadness I feel for these people.  When I do go back and find it, I am hooked and can't stop reading. But then I end up with eyes that are swollen and bloodshot.

When the kids and I were home on Friday, we had a less than desirable day. I definitely would NOT have been awarded Mother of the Year that day. I was not the mom I want to be and even three days later, I'm having a hard time with it.

Reading this story about losing a child and the heartache they are going through and will continue to go through every day of their lives, puts things into perspective. How could I not spend every second of every day loving on my children and taking in every second of them? Even when they are screaming, fighting, throwing tantrums, getting into everything that's off limits, not eating, not sleeping, throwing food on the floor, spilling their milk everywhere, fighting me when I put them in their carseats, running from me when I want to change their diapers, climbing off the changing table when I'm trying to dress them, or the times when they pick their daddy over me.

We are beyond blessed to have these two miracles in our lives and my heart explodes with love for them each day. They seem to forgive quickly when I have a short temper but it's harder to forgive myself.

I pray, in every moment, that God gives me the patience to deal with such minor instances.

And instead, give them a big 'ol smoocheroo!!!

Friday, October 21, 2011

today

I have been on MEA break yesterday and today. As much as I love being home with my kids, it's a crazy show around here!!

Today:

*The kids woke up at 5:07am, and nobody really got much more sleep after that.

*I declared today a jammie day

*We've had lots of playing on the floor

*Kenley pulled the toy shelf down on top of her

*Kaden is now walking and he enjoys walking around with a blanket over his head. He has had two bloody lips already today as a result

*Both kids have had their inhalers

*Kaden has double ear infection so he has been given his antibiotic and two doses of ear drops

*I have gone through almost an entire box of kleenex wiping noses...the snot is STILL ridiculous!!

*The fighting between the two kids is sometimes laughable, but it's getting old.

*I've washed our bedding and re-made the bed

*I've washed 3 more loads of clothes (they're not put away yet, I hate that part)

*I've put two baskets of the kids' laundry away

*Kaden has only taken one nap today, Kenley has had two

*The dishes are washed

*I made myself onion rings for a "snack"

*I took the vacuum cleaner apart and washed up the filter

*I watched a Lifetime movie. Ok, well maybe just parts of it. But that's ok, I've probably already seen it 10 times :)

*The house is a whirlwind of toys

*I haven't even showered for the day

*I attempted to watch Dr. Phil


Sounds like a productive day...but it doesn't even feel like I've made a dent in this place.  Oh the joys of parenthood :)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

the details

First of all, if you haven't read my last post you need to click here first :)




*The news we shared was not a surprise nor spontaneous...it was, once again, intentional and very calculated.

*When we got pregnant with the twins and knew we had two frozen embryos yet, Cody was determined that we should start trying again when they turned ONE! He wanted to have kids that were close in age. I was completely on board, until 9 months later when we had newborn twins on our hands. Then my thoughts turned into "let's just see how things are going when they turn one".  I wasn't making any promises at that point.

*The kids turned one and Cody was ready to head back in this summer to get the ball rolling.  I was panicking, just a little. I kept thinking of adding kids to "this" and right now, it would be insane. But I kept telling myself, a new baby is not coming now, it would be another year. When I thought about other children who were two years apart (or less), my fears started calming a bit. If they can do it, so can we! 

*In June we made our first appointment, back with Dr. Hansen, Reproductive Endocrinologist in Sioux Falls. We just wanted to talk about things and to see what the process of doing a Frozen Embryo Transfer would look like. I would start with a month of birth control so they could control my ovulating. Then injections, (oh, I remember the joy of injections), to continue to suppress my ovaries. This was followed by many ultrasounds to determine the thickness of my uterine lining and decide when to do the transfer.

*I had also started acupuncture again, approximately 3 times a week.

*Cody and I wanted to tell ABSOLUTELY NO ONE!!!  We wanted this to be a secret and a huge suprise to everyone. But when I was heading over to Sioux Falls 3-4 times a week and needed help with the kids, it was time I told someone. I told my mom but made her swear to secrecy.

*The weekend in August when we went to Des Moines...Cody went camping instead. Well, he was my injection man, so this caused a problem.  I, unable to come up with the strength to give myself the shots, needed help from my mom. So we are standing upstairs in my sister's bathroom, trying to do this all on the sly, and she freezes. My mom can't do it either!!  Now I have to call on my dad. So now both my mom and dad know.....and that's it!!  We were bummed that we had to tell, but it really was necessary.

*A week before the transfer, I started my daily progesterone in oil injections. YIKES!!  Soooo not ready for those again. Progesterone runs like syrup, therefore needs to go through a BIG needle. It also is an extra-long needle because it needs to be given into the muscle...of my butt!  Have I mentioned how much I hate these things?!?  I need to continue them through 12 weeks of pregnancy, so I only have just under 3 weeks left. Already counting down the days!

*We had 2 frozen embryos remaining, so we decided to transfer both of them. I had my transfer done over Labor Day weekend and we all hung pretty low. My mom and I had made up some meals to have on hand, and Cody became Mr. Mom for the next 3 days.

*We found out we were pregnant on September 14th

*At 6 weeks, we ended up losing one of the babies :(   I woke up early on a Sunday morning with significant bleeding. I called my doctor and he told me that I could go into the emergency room or wait until their clinic in SF opened at 8:00.  We got ready and got the kids ready and headed over to Sioux Falls. I cried the entire way over. I just knew this was going to be the end of everything. Everything we had worked so hard to achieve. I just knew I wasn't going to get to be a mom again. It was hitting me very hard. We dropped the kids off at my parents house and went in. We did an ultrasound which showed one very healthy baby yet. Praise the Lord!!

*I am still struggling with the loss though. I have not yet found the balance between mourning the loss of a child and the excitement that we are still pregnant.

*I am currently 9 weeks along

*We are due May 21st, 2012

*Chasing after 14 month old twins, being in my first trimester, and continuing to be anemic, means I am still struggling with exhaustion. Cody is amazing and is really picking up the slack. Ok, so maybe that's a lie. I do have to get a little bossy with him, or things just really wouldn't get done around here :)

*I really have been feeling great. There are times where I feel a little queezy, but I haven't even thrown up once!!  I received a pregnancy journal from my sister in law the first time around and kept notes in there week to week. It's been fun to go back and compare. I had been puking for several weeks already with the twins.


So there ya have it. Are you surprised?  Once again, we have a lot of work to get done around here to bring another member into the family. So maybe once I'm done being soo tired.....we'll get to work :)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

can we just be done?

Ugh, have I told you lately how much we hate giving the kids their inhalers?? They each continue to get two puffs morning and night, which only takes about 30 seconds total, but it feels like the longest 30 seconds EVER and then they have to act like we are trying to kill them!  They know when they get them and they can see it coming.

So then they run away. Which is a real treat :)

 It really is a struggle every day. I know for such a short lived thing, I really should just get over it, but it's getting to be such an annoyance. We then have to brush their teeth and clean their mouth out afterwards, which is also something they have grown to hate!!

I suppose they are doing their job though.  Through this last round of colds, they did have the coughing, but it didn't travel to the lungs and it hasn't gotten out of control.

You would think that because this has just become part of their routine, they would be getting used to it. We feel like every time we bring it out, it's like we're introducing it to them for the first time!

Oh well, that's all I have for you today :)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Good News

I received a call of good news yesterday.  I have been feeling very "crappy" lately and have been doctoring to try and figure out what's going on. Well, after much lab work, I was told I have "elevated liver enzymes". Didn't mean much to me, but they wanted to do some more testing, a lot more blood work, and more specific liver testing. I gave about my entire body's worth of blood and then also had an ultrasound done of my liver and gallbladder last week. Part of what elevated liver enzymes could mean was liver disease. But I got the call yesterday saying that the ultrasound of my liver/gallbladder/kidneys all looked good.  Which was a big relief. But I'm still not feeling any better. My numbers are still high, but they are still not sure what is causing this and I am also anemic....so between these two things = PURE EXHAUSTION!!!  I am not even kidding you, for the last week and a half I am asleep on the couch by 7:30 and in bed BEFORE 8:00 every night.  Once Cody gets home from work, I am done!  I find it hard to do anything and sometimes even breathing feels like too much work :(   I have started on an iron supplement which I am hoping will do the trick with the anemia. And we'll just keep an eye on the liver issue.

Myself and the kids are also sick with nasty colds. Kenley has ear infection and the snot is RIDICULOUS!!  We are all exhausted.


So that's part of what's been going on in our lives lately.
 
This past weekend we went to Des Moines to visit and hit up the Pumpkin Patch. We had a blast and I think the kids did too :)  We had absolutely gorgeous weather and it was a perfect day!
 
You'll never guess, but I forgot my camera. Yep, it was still sitting in the bedroom when we got home. I do have pictures, but I will have to get them off of my parents computer, which I'm hoping to get done this weekend.

Friday, September 30, 2011

We've had a crappy week.

Not sure I'm ready to share about it, but we've had a lot going on.


Now that I've got your attention..... Stay Tuned

Friday, September 23, 2011

A-Z of Me

Apparently this is going around "blogger-world" and I thought I'd participate. Hey, who wouldn't want to know a little more about someone else?

A. Age:  30. I hated turning 30 and in 3 short months I will already be 31! YUCK!

B. Bed Size:  Queen. Oh, how I love my bed :)

C. Chores I Hate:  Washing dishes and cleaning the shower. Ok really, I hate cleaning anything that our water touches: sinks, toilets, countertops, faucets. If you are at all aware of the HORRIBLE water in Brewster you would understand the lime build-up and it is NASTY! And hard to get clean!

D. Dogs: none (and we don't need any either)

E. Essential Start to your Day:  My routine. I thrive on routine. If it's off, I'm off.

F. Favorite Color:  Pink

G. Gold or Silver:  Silver

H. Height:  5'6"

I. Instruments you Play:  I played the flute in high school and actually just recently attempted to play one not that long ago. And it's not just like riding a bike. I had nothing!

J. Job Title:  Mama (my favorite) and Speech Language Pathologist

K. Kids: Yep, Amazing!!  14 month old twins Kaden and Kenley. They are the light of my life.  Although, not something I want to admit, I was pretty much done being a mom a few nights ago. It was a circus at our house and I about called it quits. Not really. But close.

L. Live:  Brewster, Minnesota.  The land of NOWHERE!!

M. Mother's Name:  Peggy. I hope I can be the mom to my kids that she's been to me. Well, maybe not the crazy part :)

N. Nickname:  Hol, HoJo

O. Overnight Hospital Stays:  In my 30 years, I've stayed overnight as a patient 1 time, when the kids were born. Yeah, I'm that lame.

P. Pet Peeves:  When I can't keep up with my house and the piles start to accumulate and Whiney people.

Q. Quote from a Movie:  "Slow it down...Slowin'. Slow it down...Slowin'. Slow it down!  Dude. Whew, someone got a ticket. Shut up!  Not you, the kids."  (Can you guess where that comes from?)

R. Right or Left Handed:  Right

S. Siblings:  My sister Kristal...best sister EVER!!

T. Tasty Food:  Yeah, I love food :)

U. Underware:  Yep

V. Vegetable you Hate:  ALL of them

W. What Makes you Run Late:  Not planning enough in advance and unexpected issues from the kids. Most commonly the dirty diaper as we're walking out of the house.

X. X-rays You've Had:  Back, Dental

Y. Yummy Food you Make:  Hmmm...I'm not a fan of cooking so I'm really not sure that I make anything yummy, but we never go hungry :)  Does cookie dough count?

Z. Zoo Animal:  I love the zoo!  So really any animal. Except the birds. I hate birds!

Monday, September 12, 2011

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters

So, I found this on Pinterest (my new fave), and it was just too good not to share.


*You might need a tissue :)


1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.
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2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.
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3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.
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4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.
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5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.
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6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.
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7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.
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8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.
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9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.
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10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.
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11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”
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12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.
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13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.
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14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.
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15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.
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16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.
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17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.
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18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.
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19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.
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20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.
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21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.
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22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.
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23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.
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24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.
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25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.
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26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.
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27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck
to a puddle.
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28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.
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29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.
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30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.
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31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.
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32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.
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33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.
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34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.
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35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.
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36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.
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37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.
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38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.
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39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.
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40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.
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41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.
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42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.
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43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.
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44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.
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45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.
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46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.
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47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
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48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.
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49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.
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50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.
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