I'm having kind of an icky day and here's the reason why. I guess you could call me a "blog stalker." Yep, I totally love looking into other people's lives and comparing their day to day to ours. I guess it makes me feel like I'm not the only crazy one out there, HA :)
Well along the way, about a year ago, I came across a blog about a young couple who needed prayers as their 18 month old was involved in a drowning accident. After several days of following them, finally came the post that their baby girl had gone home to be with Jesus. H.E.A.R.T.W.R.E.N.C.H.I.N.G!!! It's not a blog that I follow every day, but every now and again I have to go back and try to "catch-up." I can't even explain to you the uncontrollable sobbing and the sadness I feel for these people. When I do go back and find it, I am hooked and can't stop reading. But then I end up with eyes that are swollen and bloodshot.
When the kids and I were home on Friday, we had a less than desirable day. I definitely would NOT have been awarded Mother of the Year that day. I was not the mom I want to be and even three days later, I'm having a hard time with it.
Reading this story about losing a child and the heartache they are going through and will continue to go through every day of their lives, puts things into perspective. How could I not spend every second of every day loving on my children and taking in every second of them? Even when they are screaming, fighting, throwing tantrums, getting into everything that's off limits, not eating, not sleeping, throwing food on the floor, spilling their milk everywhere, fighting me when I put them in their carseats, running from me when I want to change their diapers, climbing off the changing table when I'm trying to dress them, or the times when they pick their daddy over me.
We are beyond blessed to have these two miracles in our lives and my heart explodes with love for them each day. They seem to forgive quickly when I have a short temper but it's harder to forgive myself.
I pray, in every moment, that God gives me the patience to deal with such minor instances.
And instead, give them a big 'ol smoocheroo!!!
Oh how I needed this reminder today...I got short with Khloe yesterday in a quick loss of patience and cried myself to sleep for being such a horrible mother. I'm sure glad she is forgiving of my short comings!
ReplyDeleteHolli, just remember you're human. You are allowed to have "those days" and you will be forgiven for them, by both the kids & the big guy up above!
ReplyDeleteWe have all had those days Holli and don't think that makes you a bad Mom, you are anything but that. I know with 7 you can really lose patience and sometimes we need to or they would never learn the right way. I know it is harder on us then it is them. I felt worse if I had to spank one of them than they did I am sure, but it also makes them realize they can not always push your buttons. You will have a lot of days like that but it is soooo worth it. Love you all Grandma and Grandpa
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