just throwing it all out there...

Someone made the comment to me the other day saying that reading my blog made her feel like she was reading my diary.

And I'm ok with that.

I find this blog a place where I can open up and I've made the decision to open up to the world while doing it.

So here's where I'm at right now.  As you all know, we've had our fair shair of difficulties thrown at us in our young life.  I've always had a relationship with God and it has only strengthened over the years while climbing over various road blocks.  But this summer, something changed for me.  I'm not exactly sure what it was or why it changed, but it did. I immersed myself into the Lord and having a much more meaningful relationship with Him.

A quick story: This summer, while changing one of Kenley's diapers, she was kicking me. I continued to tell her to stop and she continued kicking me. There really wasn't anything that I was saying that was going to make her stop kicking. Finally I grabbed her legs, looked her right in the eyes and said "Jesus would not be happy knowing you were kicking your mom."  (and unless you were there to hear it, you really won't get the full effect) but she looked back at me, with a wrinkled up forehead and a large amount of sass, and said "WHO JESUS?!?"  I felt like I was failing my kids. I broke down in tears and at that moment I made a promise to myself that my children will know Christ. I think I felt that, at the age of 2, almost 3, that they were too young and wouldn't get it anyway. But, boy was I wrong!!

We continue to have struggles in our family. Some are struggles that I'm sure every family has and some are maybe not quite so common. And to be honest, I find being a faithful follower of Christ the most difficult when I'm at home with my family. I am often praying for guidance and most importantly PATIENCE!!!!  But one thing I do know, is that I'm finding a lot more peace knowing that God is ALWAYS at the center of it all. Even if there are days that I feel like I'm failing as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, employee, friend, etc....